I want to share an encounter with you, and through it, hopefully, you’ll be able to have an inner-child revelation of your own and stop letting him/her drive your life!
I met an absolutely gorgeous, educated, delightful lady recently at the DMV who rejected every compliment I gave her. After our encounter (which lasted over an hour) and before we parted ways with tears in her eyes, she said, “I was meant to meet you today. God works in mysterious ways.” I begged to differ; there are no mysterious happenings. Everything is happening just as it ought. It’s one of the philosophies I live by: Things happen as they ought.
I mailed in my license renewal stuff over two months ago. My birthday came and went, but still no new license; so I had to go in. I tried calling, hoping it was in process and I wouldn’t have to go, but then shifted my schedule to make it the priority it was. You see, I’m clear that God/the Universe/Source (fill in the blank for your reference for the Arranger of divine appointments ________) arranged a meeting for me and (we’ll call her) Nancy.
Nancy, in all of her outer adornment (because her makeup was “on fleek” and although casually dressed she was quite cute), higher education, professional achievements and altruism (she was very proud of her “good will toward men”), she was her worst critic. Her self-esteem was so fragile that although she desired love and respect, as we talked it was clear to me that her underlying belief was that she was unworthy.
You don’t get what you desire or deserve, you get what you believe you deserve and accept.
I’m a soul communicator. People recognize it and share things with me that they’d often not told anybody else. Yes, even at the first meeting and I cut to the chase on issues that hinder them by offering options—different perspectives and new personal growth tools.
When I entered the building we locked eyes—Nancy was the first person I saw. We both smiled and nodded. After being processed, I went to the crowded waiting area and the only seat available was next to her. I took it. We began to chat right away. I talk to everybody!
Looking at her as she spoke I interrupted her, “Your skin is beautiful!”
She, without skipping a beat, responded, “No, it’s not! Really, it’s the makeup. I’ve got so many blemishes in my skin.”
I’m looking at a woman without any bumps, scars—nothing! Just smooth skin which I would have noticed without the makeup; but she couldn’t see the smooth because of the “blemishes.”
I immediately told her what I saw: “Okay, so it’s good makeup, but your skin is smooth,” and then instructed, “Now say ‘thank you’,” which opened a dialogue about how bad she is at accepting compliments and how her current boyfriend has stopped giving them to her because there’s no convincing her of her beauty. In addition, Nancy has large round clear eyes, high cheek bones and a smile that’ll light any room. AND, she was a sweetheart.
Here’s the Nitty Gritty:
Beginning when Nancy was as young as five years old, her mother called her ugly. She’s a 45-year-old, accomplished woman, and that tape still plays in her head. Because she is a good person she’s attracted good people, but because she’s never gotten new tools to heal that 40-year-old wound, that five-year-old is still driving her life today, and driving people away. In her mind (although she hadn’t connected that until we spoke), her looks determined her worth, and her thoughts, emotions and feelings are dictated by them. This wears people out and they leave, including the men in her life. She’s afraid this one will too. And if she doesn’t get it together, she’ll be right!
The love you accept from others will never exceed or substitute for the love you require of yourself.
Self-love is not a warm and fuzzy (or girlie) concept. Unless and until you heal your inner child of whatever wounds that occurred at whatever age—five, seven, 12, 16, 21, 30 or 50—he or she is driving your life. For most of us, we’ve had painful, teachable, pivotal moments throughout our lives and it’s why personal growth is so necessary; it’s the only way to release the pain and embrace the lessons. Your inner child’s current cries are purposeful. Tend to them. When you do, you can embrace them for the lessons they came to teach and they’ll become part of the tapestry of your life; beautifully woven and no longer hurting you, rather serving you.
Whether it’s a childhood wound or broken heart in your adult life, both the child and the adult are depending on you to CourageUP™, face what you’ve been ignoring, and learn to integrate them.
Keep learning, healing and growing into your next best self. That’s my desire for you.