Why You Won’t Find Your Perfect Mate At Church

Often the lessons you need the most will sting!

If you’re expecting religious thinking to produce phenomenal relationships, it ain’t gonna happen! Now take this medicine, it’s good for you and you’ll be okay after the swelling goes down.

But then what will you do differently?

*In my NOLA voice* Looka Here! Ain’t nothing wrong with going to church, but there’s a lot wrong with suspending common sense when you’re amongst those in the church…

“But I met him in the church.”
“She’s saved and I trust God.”
“If God be for us who can be against us.”

Oh, Lawd. *Insert head in hand* ūüôĄ I’ma need help on diplomacy with this one…

LISTEN TO ME: The church is where the emotionally damaged, those in need of forgiveness — often for the most inconceivable things, and “sinners” needing a no judgement zone and expecting free-flowing unconditional love are encouraged to go, so who do you think you’ll find there?

“Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.”¬†Transformation is not instantaneous! Growth is a process, it doesn’t matter who you are or what means you use, including the “Trinity”! Sanctification is personal — between each person and their God. So, they’re hands may be clean according to Christian teachings instantly (born-again), but do you really believe they’re prepared to do right by you — do you?!

ARE YOU STILL LISTENING? THEN HEAR THIS: Church is where con (wo)men know to go and be automatically trusted; given benefits of doubt. It’s full of people ripe for deception; ripe for the shenanigans of the “defiled”.

I don’t care where you find them, you have to vet them. The Church is its people and“wisdom is the principle thing!”¬†

I GET IT! I was in the dumb deepness — in fact, I refer to it as My Triple D Phase (Dumb Deep Decade) — but it’s allowing others to tell you what to believe and how to think (in the name of God); surrendering your responsibility to and for self when it comes to relationships, and THAT’S NEVER IN YOUR BEST INTEREST!

Vetting is YOUR responsibility. It’s irresponsible to believe that “God” has done the vetting FOR you because you found them in the church. That’s blind trust, which many have followed and then found¬†(but not before doing damage) that they weren’t really sent from God. Here’s a hard pill to swallow, but take it – it’s good for you: Blind trust speaks more to the “believer’s” deficits, than the other’s deception or “ungodliness” shown toward them.

And this goes for you professionals, EQUALLY!

The Divorce Rate Is As High In The Church

Professionals get taken for l-o-n-g emotionally exhausting, intellectually fraud-fueling feelings (because how could you be so smart and have committed to something so stupid), and all too often financially disastrous rides. I know! It was the case for me too. I married twice in that Triple D Phase and loss Рon all fronts! And yes, I had my share of deficits.

No, it’s not all about money, but as a professional, you’ve got more stuff to lose when it comes to “love”, so your belief system about love and money, your God — fate and faith — needs to be TIGHT so you don’t trade your brains for a box of rocks.

Sidebar for professionals, men and women, you should get my husband, Alfred Edmond Jr’s new ebook, as a first step to protecting your heart and your money.

STOP TURNING YOUR BRAIN OFF WHEN IT COMES TO MATTERS OF THE HEART, EVEN IN CHURCH.

For those of you who had a visceral reaction to this because it met up against your conditioning, let’s stick with definitions rather than rolling with feelings that stem from (erroneous) ¬†belief systems (which can be changed):

Sanctified defined:

  • to set apart to a sacred purpose or to religious use: consecrate
  • to free from sin: purify
  • to impart or impute sacredness, inviolability, or respect to
  • to give moral or social sanction¬†to

Defiled defined:

  • to make unclean or impure: such as¬†to corrupt the purity or perfection of¬†:¬†debase
  • to violate the chastity or virginity of:¬†deflower
  • to make physically unclean especially with something unpleasant or contaminating
  • to violate the¬†sanctity¬†of:¬†desecrate¬†

I never said there’s something wrong with having ritualistic practices, including going to church, but when what you believe (surrender to) doesn’t enhance your whole being or even sets you up for failure, have the courage to acknowledge the breakdown and dare to embrace a more expanded practice that supports where you are, and what you need to win, TODAY!

Lovingly,

Zara

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